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Could You Lose Custody Over Pronouns?

May 31, 2025
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May 31, 2025 09:00 AM PST

(PenniesToSave.com) – A new Colorado law, known as the Kelly Loving Act, is stirring a national conversation about parental rights, free speech, and protections for transgender individuals. While the final version of the bill does not explicitly strip custody from parents for misgendering their children, critics argue it opens the door to future legal complications. At the heart of the issue is whether government intervention is reaching too far into family life, or whether the law is a necessary step to safeguard vulnerable youth in public spaces. Understanding what this law does and does not do is critical for American families trying to navigate these complex debates.

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What is the Kelly Loving Act and why is it sparking debate?

The Kelly Loving Act was signed into law in Colorado earlier this year. Named in honor of Kelly Loving, a transgender woman killed in the tragic Club Q nightclub shooting in 2022, the legislation seeks to prevent discrimination against transgender individuals in public spaces. At the center of the controversy is the law’s explicit classification of “deadnaming” and “misgendering” as discriminatory acts under the Colorado Anti-Discrimination Act (CADA).

While the bill was celebrated by LGBTQ+ advocates, some headlines and commentators have suggested that it could also be used to influence custody decisions in family courts. Even though this interpretation is not fully supported by the text of the final law, concerns persist about how it might affect parental rights down the road.

Does the final version of the law impact custody directly?

The original draft of the Kelly Loving Act included language that could have directly influenced custody rulings, making a parent’s refusal to affirm a child’s gender identity a factor in deciding custody. However, following significant public input and legal scrutiny, that portion of the bill was removed before final passage.

As enacted, the law focuses solely on public accommodations and does not create new grounds for family courts to remove custody based on private parental speech or beliefs. Nonetheless, critics worry that this legal shift could influence future court interpretations, particularly in cases where a child’s gender identity is contested during custody proceedings.

How is misgendering now defined under Colorado law?

Under the new law, “deadnaming” is defined as using a person’s birth name with the intent to disregard their gender identity. Similarly, “misgendering” refers to intentionally using incorrect pronouns or honorifics when addressing a transgender individual. Both acts are now considered discriminatory in the context of public accommodations, meaning they are prohibited in businesses, schools, government facilities, and other public spaces covered by CADA.

The law does not apply to private speech within homes or religious spaces. It also does not criminalize misgendering, but rather allows individuals to file discrimination complaints if they believe they have been mistreated in public settings.

What are supporters of the law saying?

Supporters argue that the Kelly Loving Act is a necessary step to ensure transgender individuals are treated with respect and dignity in public life. LGBTQ+ advocacy groups point to studies showing that affirming environments can significantly reduce the risk of depression and suicide among transgender youth.

Proponents emphasize that the law is carefully tailored to address discrimination in public accommodations, not private family life or religious expression. They view the measure as a way to prevent targeted harassment and create safer spaces, particularly for vulnerable populations.

Why are some critics still concerned about parental rights?

Despite the changes to the bill, many conservative lawmakers, parental rights advocates, and religious organizations remain uneasy. They argue that even without explicit custody provisions, the law contributes to a legal and cultural trend that pressures parents to conform to state-approved views on gender identity.

Critics worry that family courts could eventually interpret a parent’s unwillingness to affirm a child’s gender identity as evidence of an unsafe or unsupportive home environment. This could, over time, inform custody decisions even if not mandated by the statute.

Could this lead to future custody battles over misgendering?

Family courts in Colorado and across the country already operate under the broad “best interests of the child” standard. This gives judges wide discretion in weighing factors that affect a child’s well-being. Some legal experts caution that if cultural attitudes and legal precedents continue shifting, failure to use a child’s preferred pronouns might inform future custody rulings, even without explicit legislative direction.

While this is not currently happening under the Kelly Loving Act itself, it remains a concern for those wary of government involvement in family life. Parents in Colorado and beyond are watching closely to see how courts interpret these evolving norms.

Does the law risk conflicting with free speech or religious rights?

The question of whether the Kelly Loving Act infringes on free speech or religious freedom is hotly debated. Since the law applies only to public accommodations and targets discriminatory conduct rather than private expression, supporters argue it does not violate the First Amendment.

However, some legal scholars and civil liberties groups argue that compelled speech is a legitimate concern when individuals are forced to use certain language under threat of legal penalty. Future court challenges could test the boundaries of the law, particularly if cases arise involving compelled speech in gray areas such as semi-public spaces.

Could other states follow Colorado’s lead?

Colorado is not alone in pursuing legislation to protect transgender individuals from discrimination. Similar bills are being considered in California, New York, Washington, and other states. This trend is likely to deepen the growing legal divide between progressive and conservative states regarding parental rights and gender identity.

Some states are moving in the opposite direction, passing laws that explicitly affirm parental rights and restrict the influence of gender ideology in schools and family courts. This legal patchwork could complicate interstate custody disputes and prompt future federal court involvement.

What should the average American parent know?

For now, the average parent in Colorado should understand that the Kelly Loving Act does not criminalize their private speech or parenting choices at home. However, they should be aware of the law’s requirements in public settings, particularly in schools or businesses.

Parents should also stay informed about how family courts in their state are interpreting “best interests of the child” in the context of gender identity. Ongoing civic engagement, dialogue with lawmakers, and participation in public discourse are essential to ensuring that evolving legal standards strike a fair balance between protecting vulnerable individuals and preserving parental rights.

Final Thoughts

The Kelly Loving Act represents a new chapter in the national debate over gender identity, discrimination, and family rights. While its current scope is limited to public accommodations, the cultural and legal trends it reflects have implications far beyond Colorado. For concerned parents and citizens, understanding the facts and watching future legal developments will be key. Striking a balance between respecting individual dignity and protecting family freedoms remains an ongoing challenge in today’s divided political climate.

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